I think the R&B needs to be pushed way up on the list....
Dan Gilroy
(anyone who could help my career)
Jellybean
Prince
Sean Penn
Sandra Bernhard (?)
Warren Beatty
John F. Kennedy Junior
Vanilla Ice
Dennis Rodman
Carlos Leon
Guy Richie
Alex Rodriguez
Ok, tip of the ice-berg - but - (and on Rodriguez:)
If Madonna has broken up any marriages in the past, it’d probably be because her cameo appearance in Will & Grace was so terrible that it literally drove couples apart.
However, Madonna is adamant that she definitely didn’t break up the marriage of New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia. In her divorce papers, Cynthia is claiming that Alex and Madonna’s ‘affair of the heart’ was the event that pushed their marriage beyond repair.
But Madonna has point blank denied that she had an affair of the heart with Alex Rodriguez. And we agree with Madonna. After all, an affair of the heart would suggest some sort of emotional involvement and, having seen Swept Away, we know only too well that Madonna isn’t that great at emotions. Now, if they’d claimed an affair of the fanny it’d be a different story entirely.
Madonna loves media attention when it’s about something she can control, like jiggling around on a giant glittery crucifix in front of a bishop or whatever. But when the media focuses on something that Madonna wouldn’t like it to focus on - like the current furore over her alleged affair with Alex Rodriguez or the way the skin on her hands looks like it’s made of old scrotums - then you have a very miserable Madonna indeed.
To recap Madonna’s current alleged love pentagon for those of you who’ve been lucky enough to avoid it so far - Madonna and Guy Ritchie might be on the verge of a divorce, which might be because Madonna could have had an affair with Alex Rodriguez, whose wife has just filed for divorce and run off with Lenny Kravitz. There’s probably also some religious brainwashing going on, too, but we’re not sure how relevant that is.
Clear? Good. Now dismiss that entire last paragraph from your mind, because Madonna says it’s all a load of bollocks.
In her divorce papers, Cynthia Rodriguez cites the ‘affair of the heart’ that Madonna had with her husband as the moment that she knew her marriage was over. However, Madonna’s fairly certain that she didn’t have an affair of the heart, primarily because she had her heart surgically replaced with a spare vagina 15 years ago. The Sun reports:
A source involved in his divorce battle revealed last night: “Madonna’s outraged. She told his wife Cynthia’s lawyers not to make any more statements about her – in short, shut up.” Lawyers say his association with Madonna, 49, is NOT sexual. But a US TV station still mocked up how a love child might look.
The tension between all the key players is getting to be unbearable, isn’t it? And all this talk of ‘affairs of the heart’ has kick-started a number of public debates about the point where friendship ends and infidelity begins, too.
It might seem like a silly squabble involving an overpaid athlete and an annoying popstar for now, but this divorce might actually end up setting an important precedent or two about emotional faithfulness.
Not that we give a toss, though - these days we only care about divorces that involve men spending $3000 a month on porn. Come back and talk to us when that happens
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Subject: Summarise Her Career in ... ? 
Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:53 am
